Rethorical Martial Arts

I'm pretty far off kilter right this minute and I need to get re-centered.
I really should learn to shut up and butt out, but, well, you know...
I got into it online with a couple of Right-Wingers, who used their Whacko/Psycho jujitsu on me. No matter what you say they turn it around (how clever), sort of like, I know you are but what am I?
Anyway here's the way it works.
I say, "Two Dogs walk into a bar."
The response is,
"What do you have against dogs? You must be a closet dogist!
"And by walk into a bar do you mean that they are unattended by their owners? What are you implying? You dog-owner Hater!
"Or are you anthropomorphising the dogs and they are walking in on their hind legs? That's against the Bible and Creationism. Dogs cannot walk or talk. Only Snakes. You pagan heathen. "Or are you implying that the dogs can open the door to the bar, or that someone's enabling them to drink even though they are obviously under-age, since no dog lives to be 21 years old. "Just like you lefties, contributing to the delinquency of minor dogs, probably so you can get them drunk, rape them, and then perform an abortion on them. You are beyond contempt!"

Not really. I feel plenty for you right now.
For the sake of common decency, I'll leave their names out of it, a courtesy I doubt that they'd extend to me.
I'll be over here trying to get my head back together.
Kisses.